Mysteries of life

Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack" If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even in the word? Why do …

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What kids say

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a …

Fun things to do in Asda/Tesco/Sainsburys/M and S

01.    Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking. 02.    Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 03.    Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet. 04.    Walk up to an employee and tell …

Thank you

Dear Friends Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded over the year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every …

Real Emergency Calls from USA

BELIEVE it or not, These are REAL 911 Calls! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller:   No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? **************** Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: Someone …

Smileys

🙂              Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously Happy Midget smiley Cheshire cat smile Happy Salamander User is a midget Smilie without a nose Normal face Leper 🙂             Smiling, happy faces; don't take me too seriously <smile> or <grin> Your basic smiley Ha ha Comedy Willie Shoemaker "We are all, each of us, alone" …