Insurance Claims

"I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.." "Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.." "I …

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Complaints from tenants

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.3. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.4. I want some …

Marriage jokes

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, …

An Australian Love Poem (Who said Australians weren’t romantic?)

Of course I love ya darling, You're a bloody top notch birdAnd when I say you're gorgeous, I mean every single wordSo ya bum is on the big side, I don't mind a bit of flabIt means that when I'm ready, There's somethin there to grabSo your belly isn't flat no more, I tell ya, …

Best text joke ever?

Exercise Programme. Take one Weetabix. Take one Aero. Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. Voila. Aerobix...Some of my favourite replies...."i dn get it""Can I just eat the aero?""that's the bets joke you've ever sent me"It's like reading the reviews on DVD's isn't it? 😉

TOP TEN TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make …