An Australian Love Poem (Who said Australians weren’t romantic?)

Of course I love ya darling, You're a bloody top notch birdAnd when I say you're gorgeous, I mean every single wordSo ya bum is on the big side, I don't mind a bit of flabIt means that when I'm ready, There's somethin there to grabSo your belly isn't flat no more, I tell ya, …

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Best text joke ever?

Exercise Programme. Take one Weetabix. Take one Aero. Crumble the Aero over the Weetabix. Voila. Aerobix...Some of my favourite replies...."i dn get it""Can I just eat the aero?""that's the bets joke you've ever sent me"It's like reading the reviews on DVD's isn't it? 😉

TOP TEN TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make …

One pence

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 penny.""ONE PENNY!" exclaims the guy.The barman replies, "Yes."So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried …

Nights out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman …

Customer Service par excellence

Indeed, an award should go to the Air Malta gate attendant at Luqa airport: some months ago for being customer focused, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Malta-London flight was cancelled. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly …

Stolen from America

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites -------------------- FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog -------------------- FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog -------------------- GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free -------------------- FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile....better be reward. -------------------- COWS, …

Cold Callers – How to get rid of them…

Cold confusion“On one occasion we got so fed up with one company calling we said to the errant salesperson: ‘Sorry, we are a bit busy at the moment – we have the receivers in’,” suggests Phil Geeson. “Needless to say we did not hear from them again.” The caller may have been confused, because Phil …