Dont You Just Love it When…

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the @#$@ is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV …

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Top 10 Stupid (but still in act) British Laws

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament. 2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down. 3. In Liverpool , it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store 4. Mince pies cannot be …

Instructions

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: …

Mad but true facts

Butterflies taste with their feet. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. Ninety percent …

Welsh swearing

As from: http://www.clwbmalucachu.co.uk Useful phrases - swearing We all did it at school, huddled round dictionaries in the playground or before interminable French or German lessons started, looking up naughty words like 'willy' or 'fanny'. Well, now CMC saves you the effort of searching for swearwords, profanities, scatological phrases and words that your gran would …

Newspaper errors

IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull rip cord." ~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it …

Small Ads from American Papers

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites -------------------- FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog -------------------- FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog -------------------- GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free -------------------- FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile....better be reward. -------------------- COWS, …