One pence

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 penny.""ONE PENNY!" exclaims the guy.The barman replies, "Yes."So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried …

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Nights out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman …

Inside a Dog’s mind

Visitors: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.Barking: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark... a …

Stolen from America

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites -------------------- FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog -------------------- FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog -------------------- GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free -------------------- FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile....better be reward. -------------------- COWS, …

Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it.)If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.(Now that's more like it!)The human heart creates …

Tech helpline

The following are excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton-- Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust …