If Microsoft made cars

... prolonged use would cause car to crash twice a day. Occasionally (for no reason at all) your car would lock you out. This would require you to simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key and tweak the aerial. Occasionally, performing a three-point turn would cause your car to stop responding. In which case …

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My Microsoft Tomato Soup is Lumpy ?

Microsoft Tomato Soup has no lumps. If you have lumps in your Microsoft Tomato Soup, you may have purchased an illegal copy. Check the hologram on the inside of the tin.If there isn't one, please send it to us with details of where you purchased your copy of Microsoft Tomato Soup. This does not entitle …

Microsoft TV Dinner – Article Q452354

You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor rights to all Microsoft TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged …

23 ways to drive your co-workers insane

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) 3) Insist that your e-mail address be Xena-godde-@companyname.com or Elvis-t-@companyname.com. 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want …

Only in Britain

Be very proud to be British Because... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain... …

Men Vs Women

1. NAMES If Louise, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch they will call each other Louise, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and …

Radio competition

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following are the final four placegetters:- 4th Place While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold …